I think I'm going to be a bit of a postwhore tonight, posting both here and on my other LJ shoshcrafts but oh well, I guess it is to make up for not posting anything in forever. You would think that now that I am done school I would have more time, but no... Of course not LOL.

In the last little bit, I have had the pleasure of getting to know a few, I will say boys, but I suppose that is because I am in the awkward stage where I still think of them as boys, but they aren't really so much anymore, who have been raised correctly by their parents. My team at work is 3 guys and 2 girls, and it is strange being the in the minority since women have pretty much had the majority at home for well, forever lol. And also from getting to know Ryan as well.

Now when I say that they have been raised correctly, I mean that they know how men are supposed to treat women, they hold the door, do all the carrying of stuff without being asked to, pay to take a girl out to dinner or for a date whatever. All of the ideals of how men are supposed to treat women.

Now, to be clear, I'm not trying to say that I have a problem with this at all. Given that most of the guys I have met in my life prior to this point have been complete assholes, this has been a really really interesting change for me. I think I maybe consider myself to be boyshy. Not in the classic "oh, you're male, therefore I'm going to get all shy and bashful and don't know what to say to you" kind of way, but in the, I really have no idea how to let go of any of my independence and let someone else do anything for me, no matter what my relationship with them is.

I had a conversation with a guy at work, and we were talking about dating, and he was saying stuff about taking the girl out to dinner, and all of that, and it just keeps hitting me how strange it feels to me when people do that kind of stuff for me. It isn't that I don't appreciate it, or think it is sweet or any of those things, it is just that when I am in a relationship I tend to cling really tightly to my independence. I don't know why I see letting someone else do something nice for me as losing my independence, but I do. If a guy (even as a friend or colleague ) goes to lift something because it is heavy and they have been taught that they should do those things for women I'm like.... "....... you know... I can do that for myself...." I'm not going to break because I have to lift 10 pounds, I promise. It always makes me feel weird if someone takes me out on a date and they pay. And I don't even know why. It isn't that I think that this is wrong of these guys. Not at all, it is cute and sweet, and honourable of them. It is really nice to see that there are guys out there who aren't creeps and know how to treat women properly. I guess it just isn't how I expect to be treated by other people. I don't know, maybe it is pride that I can do things for myself, that I can be creative, and handy and thrifty, and can work to be an equal in a relationship on all levels be it strength, financially, manners-wise, whatever. Maybe I've just never really had this experience before so I don't know what to do with it. It's just strange though, because I'm not a high-maintenance kind of person, and so when it is so engrained in someone that hey, I'm a guy, she's a girl, we're going somewhere the two of us, we have to carry something heavy, I'm the guy, of course I'll take it" happens without even a thought. It's really really strange, at least for me. I feel special and cared about, and all of those things that those actions are meant to show. I just have a really hard time with accepting that it doesn't mean that I mean less, or that I am less capable of doing things for myself because I let someone else do something for me.

I don't know... It's really strange. I'm finding that I really do like these guys, not necessarily in a relationship kind of way at all, but just in the how they show respect to people, and treat people kind of way. It's just really weird and new to me, and it's something that I always notice. *shrugs* It was just something that I've been thinking about the last few days, that when you find guys who truly respect women and know how to treat them properly it is really obvious in everything that they do. I just don't really know how that meshes with what my ideals of independence are....